Giving some warning

[Zero One]

So recently, something has happened to me and it's messing with my head. I don't know if it's a reaction to stress or whatever, but I have a constant low mood, where shit just isn't funny any more and I get pissed off ridiculously easily. To the point where everyday occurrences just send my flying into rage. Hell, yesterday, I was at my Gran's house with my mum and all I wanted to do was just get the fuck out of there and run home for no apparent reason. Trying to get this solved is taking a stupidly long time because the NHS is so shitty, I can only get appointments in 10 minute increments; not exactly enough time to cure this depression or whatever the fuck this is.

Chances are, someone is going to say something perfectly fine and I'm just going to go fucking nuts for no good reason and I pre-emptively and sincerely apologise. I don't expect anyone to automatically forgive me, or even forgive me at all, but I at least wanted to give you guys a reason and a little heads-up. Again, I am sorry if I say anything terrible but even as I type this, I just want to break something and there is no god damn cause for it. So yeah, I'm sorry.

EDIT: It's beyond rage now. I'm fucking crying for no reason. I just have no idea any more; there isn't even a trigger.

[Parabox]

[spoiler][/spoiler]

[Quietus]

Can you remember the first instance of you feeling like it?  Chances are it's been happening for a while, but there's likely one incident that stands out as 'Damn - that was out of order!'  Is it possible that something around that time triggered it?

Have you tried changing other things in your daily routine that may be triggering it?  Even things like your diet can affect these things.  Do you have lots of things like sugar or caffeine?  Energy drinks?  Drink / drugs?  Do you have a regular sleep pattern?  I know from personal experience that even a few hours less sleep than I need puts me in what I call a 'fuck off, world' mood.

Either way, keep soldiering on.  Life throws these hurdles.  Some are easier than others to get over.

[squishy_ichigo]

I've been getting agitated at work lately myself. I can't respect my coworkers when they stand around goofing off when they should be working, and it gets to me a bit.
Nothing as far as 'rage', but it's still bothers me enough.

So, it brings me some satisfaction when we have a harder day and they are all stressed. Am I a bad person? :<

[Zero One]

Can you remember the first instance of you feeling like it?  Chances are it's been happening for a while, but there's likely one incident that stands out as 'Damn - that was out of order!'  Is it possible that something around that time triggered it?

No, I can't remember. It's nothing specific; it's just something that's been building and getting more and more worse over time.

Have you tried changing other things in your daily routine that may be triggering it?  Even things like your diet can affect these things.  Do you have lots of things like sugar or caffeine?  Energy drinks?  Drink / drugs?  Do you have a regular sleep pattern?  I know from personal experience that even a few hours less sleep than I need puts me in what I call a 'fuck off, world' mood.

Nothing has changed at all. I've never had a good sleeping pattern; it's been that way for years. My diet hasn't changed very much and when it does, the rest of the immediate family changes too, but my mum and dad are completely fine. I'm not one for coffee; I find it repulsive. I don't drink many energy drinks; watching my caloric intake pretty much denies them and I didn't have much of them when I wasn't looking after myself. I drink very rarely. It takes a lot to get me drunk and it passes in about an hour. I don't touch drugs at all. The most I've had was codeine for a few weeks after an operation. And, like I said, no good sleep pattern. I can operate just fine on no sleep or plenty of sleep and my mood rarely changes. I honestly have no idea what the hell this is, but it's gotta be triggered by stress. This scholastic year has just been shit on top of shit.

Either way, keep soldiering on.  Life throws these hurdles.  Some are easier than others to get over.

I feel like I'm just falling at the gate here.

I've been getting agitated at work lately myself. I can't respect my coworkers when they stand around goofing off when they should be working, and it gets to me a bit.
Nothing as far as 'rage', but it's still bothers me enough.

So, it brings me some satisfaction when we have a harder day and they are all stressed. Am I a bad person? :<

Not in the least. If people don't pull their own weight, they deserve what they get.

EDIT: Parabox, that image made me happy. Thank you.

[Zhs2]

Don't you take medication for something? Iirc you mentioned something about Ritalin or one or other of those drugs they give to people for ADHD (lol, that term is so 90s.) That kind of stuff WILL mess with your head. Believe me on this one, it was the story of my life for about four years when I was in elementary school. I'd say it'd be worthy of an experiment - try to not take it for a week and see if you feel any better. Then again, if you've been taking it for longer than I think you have...

[Zero One]

I was taking 5-HTP, but that was to try and stabilise my mood. Plus, I only took it for about 3 days; I stopped before I stayed at James'. Drug-wise, I expect that I'd probably be put on some Prozac derivative, like Fluxetine or something.

[Qactis]

I doubt amphetimines (adderall/vivanse/ritalin) would be responsible for mood-swings. I had the SAME attitude as you 01 not but 2 years ago. I was in school, and a lot of stress comes from school and deadlines for projects and homework and such, no doubt about it. Also I had problems with my family at the time, and that didn't help either. I remember raging frequently at just questions asked of me. A simple question directed at me would result in me raising my voice at the person in my family, and any sort of accusation or anything like that would have me yelling. I never figured out what it was that upset me so much, and it's never really gone away.

I have had to work my nuts off to bring myself under control, because I could snap anytime over something stupid. I gave up being angry at people (especially my family), there's simply no reason to be. Life is too short to let your emotions run wild and affect other people. I almost never raise my voice at my family anymore, but it's mainly because I bite my tongue now and I don't let myself get angry.

I've found that having the most positive outlook on life I force myself to have helps so much. I try to stay as happy as I can be, and I focus on what is good rather than the negative things that happen around me. Like I've said about 3 times already, you have to physically and mentally force yourself to stay positive, and stay calm. It's hard as all get out, but you can do it man.