The funny quips and quotes thread

[Phazar]

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[17:12] <fof> I wonder what kind of charge you would get if you programmed a killer robot.
[17:13] <zephyrtronium> murder
[17:13] <fof> is that like a, accomplice to murder type thing?
[17:13] <zephyrtronium> the killer robot would be the instrument
[17:13] <zephyrtronium> the weapon, if you will
[17:14] <fof> yeah, prob be a dadly weapon chrge
[17:14] <fof> deadly*
[17:14] <@PY> did you build the robot too?
[17:14] <fof> yeah, in said scenario
[17:14] <@PY> you might get away with it if you just programmed it and say it was only ever meant to be used with virtual robots
[17:14] <igo> You would not be charged with anything at all, granted you are not caught.
[17:15] <fof> I wonder if it accidently kills someone, what'll happen
[17:15] <fof> I think that's involuntary manslaughter, or something like that
[17:16] <@PY> depends whether it was accidental or not
[17:16] <@PY> I suppose you could only figure that out with good logging
[17:16] <igo> If a killer robot accidentally kills someone, that's bonus points.

[Crashtour99]

Totally not taken out of context...   :heheh:

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<Grime> But the camera flash does make it look a lot smaller than it is, lol.
<MrsGrime> its horrible. im just saying. be prepared

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<zephyrtronium> also when assuming they are about facedick for some reason
<MrsGrime> read my mind man

[Phazar]

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[18:51] <+HelloBot> Hello, Phazar! ^.^
[18:52] <Phazar> Hello, MetConst! ^.^
[18:53] * MetConst (Me@ip70-176-208-117.ph.ph.cox.net) has joined #metconst
[18:53] <+HelloBot> Hello, MetConst! ^.^
[18:53] <Phazar> wait...
[18:53] * MetConst (Me@ip70-176-208-117.ph.ph.cox.net) Quit (Quit: Client Exited)
[18:53] <Phazar> lolz
[18:53] <ProjectXVIII> Oh noes
[18:53] <ProjectXVIII> MetConst has quit!

[Qactis]

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<@Grime> So yeah, best thing is license plate/vehicle. It's non-violent, somewhat efficient, and also shows that you might even give a damn about the store you're working for.
<@Grime> And it works on women too.
<ProjectXVIII> Just whip out your cock and say "I'll let you keep it if..."
<@Grime> Purse to the face.
<@Grime> Lawsuit.
<ProjectXVIII> Fuck her purse until the cops get there.
<ProjectXVIII> Win-win situation
<@Grime> Fuck the cops until her purse gets there.
<ProjectXVIII> Cops fuck her purse until I get there.
<Qactis> Take her purse and fuck your coworker until her cops get there
<@Grime> Fuck her until the purse gets the cops there.
<ProjectXVIII> The cop are there. The purse fucks you.
<Parabox> Donkey Kong.
<Qactis> In soviet russia, the cops fuck you
<ProjectXVIII> In America, they fuck you aswell!
<Qactis> \o/
<Parabox> Asswell.
<Qactis> !s you your
<OMGbot> <ProjectXVIII> In America, they fuck your aswell!
<Qactis> !s aswell ass well
<OMGbot> <OMGbot> <ProjectXVIII> In America, they fuck your ass well!
<ProjectXVIII> !s " well"
<OMGbot> <OMGbot> <OMGbot> <ProjectXVIII> In America, they fuck your ass!

[Antidote]

it's amazing how missing ONE word can cause the entire convo to fall apart due to miss understanding fortunately this one was caught early

[20:53]   <Antidote>   ...
[20:53]   <Antidote>   Samus is a full grown adult
[20:53]   <Antidote>   yet her voice actor uses "atashi"
[20:53]   <Antidote>   <.<
[20:53]   <DChronos>   ?
[20:53]   <DChronos>   meaning?
[20:53]   <Antidote>   atashi is the girl version of 'I' 'Me' 'My' in japanese
[20:54]   <Antidote>   watashi is the adult version
[20:54]   <Antidote>   boku is the boy version
[20:54]   <Antidote>   ...
[20:54]   <Antidote>   now she uses watashi
[20:55]   <Antidote>   o.0
[20:55]   <MathOnNapkins>   well, you know and I know that stuff doesn't obey strict rules the way we'd like to think of them
[20:55]   <DChronos>   Maybe samus is both an adult AND a kid
[20:55]   <Antidote>   silly inconsistent voice actress
[20:55]   <Antidote>   xD
[20:55]   <DChronos>   oooOOOOOoooo
[20:55]   <MathOnNapkins>   i'm sure it depends on the context
[20:55]   <DChronos>   blows your mind
[20:55]   <MathOnNapkins>   perhaps if she wanted to be deferential, she'd use atashi
[20:55]   <MathOnNapkins>   or maybe the voice actor just was adlibbing, who knows
[20:55]   <Antidote>   meh
[20:55]   <Antidote>   i just thought it was weird
[20:56]   <DChronos>   Well one thing's for sure... I think they know more about what they were saying "P
[20:56]   <Antidote>   most of the adult characters i see that use atashi are immature
[20:56]   <MathOnNapkins>   i mean, some women and young girls have been known to use "boku" too
[20:56]   <DChronos>   oops, sideways eyes
[20:56]   <MathOnNapkins>   i don't think it's as rigid as we'
[20:56]   <MathOnNapkins>   d like to think
[20:56]   <Antidote>   MathOnNapkins: the ones that do are usually butch lesbians
[20:56]   <Antidote>   like Haruka from Sailor Moon
[20:56]   <MathOnNapkins>   Antidote: you're just thinking of anime, I meant in real life
[20:56]   <Antidote>   true
[20:57]   <Antidote>   :P
[20:57]   <Antidote>   i did say CHARACTERS!!
[20:57]   <MathOnNapkins>   ah, so you did
[20:57]   <MathOnNapkins>   didn't see that
[20:57]   * MathOnNapkins   suffers from premature ejaculation of text
[20:57]   <Antidote>   lol
[20:57]   <DChronos>   lol
[20:57]   <Antidote>   so quoted

[-DC-]

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* DChronos gives v_Zalem a tiletable
* DChronos bestows upon Qactis cards
* Qactis bestows upon DChronos a few thousand pixels
* DChronos smacks Qactis upside the head with a bomb that's already exploding ... WHAT??! D: *dies with you*
<Qactis> Master chef much
* @Zhs2 np: "Title Screen" - Archer MacLean's Dropzone (SNES)
* DChronos gives Zhs2 the planet Jupiter
<Zhs2> lolz
<DChronos> that was completely random... and I just learned the planet Jupiter IS on the title screen of that... wow
<Zhs2> [b]YOU'RE WINNER'[/b]
<OMGbot> [b]YOU'RE WINNER[/b]

[squishy_ichigo]

* squishy_ichigo drops a quote from #sr388

(edited out some stuff....)

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<sr388craft> (squishy_ichigo) omg
<sr388craft> (squishy_ichigo) I try closing a door, accidentally place a sign
<sr388craft> (squishy_ichigo) a creeper comes around the corner
<sr388craft> (squishy_ichigo) andI was pressing the 's' button
<sr388craft> (squishy_ichigo) so the sign went sssssssssss
<sr388craft> (squishy_ichigo) then I went boom
<Silver_Skree> LOL, squish
<sr388craft> (squishy_ichigo) I KNOW
<Silver_Skree> beautiful
<sr388craft> (squishy_ichigo) I had to share

[Phazar]

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<Phazar> Bad trolls, bad trolls.
<Phazar> Watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do When the Mods ban you?
<zephyrtronium> create a new account?
<SadiztykFish> trollololol
<v_Zalem> How do you kill a troll? Don't feed them.
<@interdpth1> I dunno man
<@interdpth1> I'm still here
<SadiztykFish> yes but we feed you inter
<SadiztykFish> you are special
<SadiztykFish> that is all

[Phazar]

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<SadiztykFish> !crab battle DChronos
<OMGbot> Puddlejumper doesn't have a crab! They can run !crab init [crab name] to get one!
<OMGbot> Puddlejumper won the battle, and is awarded 6 XP!
<DChronos> My crab doesn't have a crab
<SadiztykFish> what the eff?
<SadiztykFish> Puddlejumper doesn't have a crab, puddlejumper won the battle?
<DChronos> Sad, I said my crab doesn't have a crab

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<N-Spade> !crab battle SadiztykFish
<OMGbot> SadFish won the battle, and is awarded 20 XP!
<N-Spade> aww
<SadiztykFish> wooo!
<SadiztykFish> hey Spadey <3
<Phazar> !crab battle SadiztykFish
<OMGbot> SadFish won the battle, and is awarded 60 XP!
<SadiztykFish> WOOO
<Phazar> !crab battle SadiztykFish
<OMGbot> MetConst won the battle, and is awarded 20 XP!
<SadiztykFish> hacker
<SadiztykFish> F:
<Antidote> SadiztykFish: calling someone a hacker on this channel is a compliment
<Antidote> <.<

[Scyzer]

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[09:41] <ProjectXVIII> Squishy is immune to the seductive nature of wimminz
[09:42] <ProjectXVIII> Men, on the other hand...
[09:42] * ProjectXVIII runs
[09:42] <SadFishGone> D:
[09:42] <SadFishGone> no he not
[09:42] <SadFishGone> Squishy, if I moved over there will you go out with meee?
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[09:43] <ProjectXVIII> And the world splits in half
[09:43] <@squishy_ichigo> define "go out" If you mean, hang out and do fun stuffs then sure. If you mean date, then no.
[09:43] <SadFishGone> I think I scared everyone away...
[09:43] <SadFishGone> aww damn
[09:43] <SadFishGone> P18 you were right
[09:43] <ProjectXVIII> The second Sadi implied heterosexuality, the world broke.
[09:43] <@squishy_ichigo> I just wanna be friends
[09:43] <Lunaria> holy crap
[09:43] <Lunaria> get back and
[09:43] <Lunaria> BAM
[09:43] * @squishy_ichigo puts Sadi in the friend zone
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[09:43] *** canis.esper.net sets mode +ooooo interdpth James Grime Zhs2 PY
[09:43] *** ChanServ sets mode -o squishy_ichigo
[09:43] <+HelloBot> Hello, KuntaLaRainbow! ^.^
[09:44] <+HelloBot> Hello, hayashi! ^.^
[09:44] <+HelloBot> Hello, Shadox! ^.^
[09:44] <+HelloBot> Hello, Zurginator! ^.^
[09:44] <+HelloBot> Hello, interdpth! ^.^
[09:44] <Lunaria> netplsit
[09:44] <@Zhs2> lol...
[09:44] <ProjectXVIII> >a guy friendzoning somebody like Sadi
[09:44] <Shadox> no shit
[09:44] <SadFishGone> lol
[09:44] <SadFishGone> so
[09:44] <ProjectXVIII> >I am motherfucking disappoint squishy
[09:44] <@Zhs2> Wait, what?
[09:44] <@Zhs2> What?
[09:44] <@Zhs2> WHAT?
[09:44] <SadFishGone> when there's a chance of me and squish dating, the world explodes
[09:44] <@Zhs2> WHAT?
[09:44] <Lunaria> am I in rhe firend zone? :O
[09:44] <squishy_ichigo> yes
[09:44] <ProjectXVIII> 8 < 6SadFishGone >  Squishy, if I moved over there will you go out with meee?
[09:44] <SadFishGone> as soon as I get into the friend zone, all is well
[09:44] <squishy_ichigo> everyone is
[09:44] <Lunaria> <_<
[09:44] <squishy_ichigo> :D
[09:44] <Lunaria> it does not feel very cool anymore if everyone is in it
[09:44] *** squishy_ichigo is now known as Guest1390140466
[09:44] <@Zhs2> Lunaria: It's not supposed to


So apparently I am not allowed to be with Squishy :cry:

[Scyzer]

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[01:51] <SadiztykFish> purple crateria is just ghastly
[01:52] <@squishy_ichigo> heh
[01:52] <@squishy_ichigo> I actually have a purple crateria somewhere one sec
[01:52] <SadiztykFish> inb4 pokemon reference
[01:52] <ProjectXVIII> Haunter is just ghastly, evolved.
[01:52] <ProjectXVIII> FUCKING SADI
[01:52] <SadiztykFish> :D


[ProjectXVIII]

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<wifiguy> Maybe its because I surround myself with dicks so much that I'm just used to it.

Not out of context, honest.

[Fe]

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22:53 <SpeedBooster> In other, unrelated news, Zhs2 has 999 posts on the forums now.
22:54 <SadiztykFish> :O
22:54 <SpeedBooster> Lets bet on where he'll make his 1000th post!
22:55 <SadiztykFish> Super Metroid board
22:55 <crashtour99> I bet a grand it'll be a response to something stupid DarkSamus says  XD
22:55 <interdpth>     Talk of the day
22:55 <SpeedBooster> Hmm... Project Base
22:55 <SadiztykFish> I take that bet and raise it'll be response to something stupid I say!
22:55   ***SadiztykFish goes off to make numerous stupid posts


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*** crashtour99 joined #metconst
22:40 <HelloBot>     Hello, crashtour99! ^.^
22:41 <XavierSMRH> Hello, crashtour99! ^.^
22:42 <Shadox>     Hello, hello! ^.^
22:43 <XavierSMRH> Hello, Shadox! ^.^
22:43 <SadiztykFish> Hello, Shadox! ^.^
22:43 <XavierSMRH> Hello again, Shadox! ^.^
22:44 <SadiztykFish> Hello, XavierSMRH! ^.^
22:44 <XavierSMRH> Hello, SadiztykFish! ^.^
22:44 <SadiztykFish> Hello to you too, XavierSMRH! ^.^
22:45 <SadiztykFish> Hello, HelloBot! ^.^
22:45 <HelloBot>     Hello to you too, SadiztykFish! ^.^
22:45 <XavierSMRH> And a fine hello to you, HelloBot! ^.^
22:47 <XavierSMRH> Hello, HelloBot! ^.^
22:47 <HelloBot>     Hello to you too, XavierSMRH! ^.^
22:47 <XavierSMRH> there we go :D


[Phazar]

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<Karis> who is samus?
<Zurginator> haha
<ProjectXVIII> Samus is the green dragon you fight, dumbass.
<ProjectXVIII> You know, the first boss?
<@Zhs2> "green"
<ProjectXVIII> Well he's not blue. :|
<@Zhs2> Purple?
<ProjectXVIII> Purple?
<ProjectXVIII> That's Mother Ridley faggot.
<ProjectXVIII> Then you go down into Gran Tourian and fight The Brain.
<Zurginator> Gran Tourian? Is that the racing game?
<Shadox> You mean Gran Torizo?
<Shadox> That one faggot plant?
<ProjectXVIII> No no, you fight Gran Torizo on the Nurburgring.
<@Zhs2> Oh man, that guy guarding Super Bombs. Frak that dude.
<ProjectXVIII> Yeh, and you can only shoot him with the Space Lazer Beam.
<Zurginator> the SLB
<Zurginator> which was designed at BSL
<Shadox> Baseball Signing League?
<ProjectXVIII> The Bureau of Space Lazers, duh.
<Shadox> Oh, sorry.
<Shadox> Was thinking of another BSL.
<Zurginator> you know, where you play Metroid 2?
<ProjectXVIII> LR266?
<Zurginator> Where the samus' try to kill you
<Phazar> Who is Metroid 2?  A robot clone of Metroid?
<Zurginator> and you play as Metroid
<@Zhs2> Phazar: Obviously.
<ProjectXVIII> You fight Metroid 2 in the game called SA-X.
<@Zhs2> What is also obvious is that the Samus return from the first game. It even says right there on the title.
<Zurginator> I thought the SA-X was the green guy in Metroid
<ProjectXVIII> It stands for Saudi Arabia - eXtreme
<Zurginator> Not Xylophone? :(
<ProjectXVIII> Saudi Arabian Xylophones?
<Zurginator> that's what I thought it was
<ProjectXVIII> I never thought of that...maybe Sony is lying to us about their games!
<Phazar> Subterranean Area Xrays?
<Zurginator> yeah, maybe Microsoft should make the next Samus
<Zurginator> and then Metroid and Halo Chief could fight each other
<@Zhs2> Who the frak is Sony?
<@Zhs2> I thought it was Crash.
<@Zhs2> Crash Computer Entertainment.
<Zurginator> Sony made Super Smash Bros
<Phazar> No
<@Zhs2> And Nintendo invented my PC.
<ProjectXVIII> Super Smash Bros?
<Phazar> It's Super Crash Bros
<ProjectXVIII> What the frak is that?
<ProjectXVIII> It's called Power Punch Pros
<ProjectXVIII> Faggot.
<ProjectXVIII> lrn2game
<@Zhs2> By the way, what the frak is a Skree? I always thought those things were called Diggers.
<ProjectXVIII> Skrees are the things that hop around on 2 legs.

Most epic thing to come out of #metconst in a LOOOONG time.

[Parabox]

Damn, I was sleeping during this. Oh well, woulda ruined it though.

[DSO]

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[16:14] [DSO] Wouldn't have to be a whole lot but it seems like it'd be a pain in the butt
[16:14] <squishy_ichigo> bearable ammounts of pain
[16:14] <squishy_ichigo> but its all good

Never knew that about you Squishy.

[Zhs2]

18:55 <James> !convert 150 USD to GBP
18:55 <Hatchling> Jesus christ what is wrong with you. Get out.
18:55 <James> I..
18:55 <James> God damn shit imitations
18:56 <Zhs2> lmao
18:56 <ProjectCheeseWiz> xD
18:57 <ProjectCheeseWiz> Incredible alias is incredible.

[Scyzer]

[09:17] <DSO> aww he has minicrocs
[09:18] <MassEffectXVIII> I know, aren't you...
[09:18] * MassEffectXVIII shades
[09:18] <MassEffectXVIII> Stoke'd?
[09:18] <MassEffectXVIII> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[09:19] <DSO> hi-jump!
[09:19] <Saddy|SZm> jesus christ
[09:20] <Saddy|SZm> that's the best metroid pun i've ever heard P18

[Phazar]

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Phazar !google ie=crap
16:04 Hatchling Internet Explorer (IE) Is A Piece Of CRAP! (at http://www.imnicamarketing.com/2009/01/internet-explorer-ie-is-a-piece-of-crap/)

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21:33 Phazar I cant ignore zozo, trolling him is too fun
21:33 snarf ^
21:33 Derranged_Soul ^^
21:33 ZEPHYRTRONIUM !s "(\w)\1" "\1o\1"
21:33 Hatchling <Phazar> I cant ignore zozo, trololing him is tooo fun

[zephyrtronium]

Out-of-context time!

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⸘14:05:22‽ James but right now, I'm having spray problems -.-

[squishy_ichigo]

<squishy_ichigo> http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f3/Wonder_Bread.JPG
<Saddy> you shouldn't do that
<Saddy> wondering leds to ideas
<Saddy> ideas lead to extra work
<Saddy> extra work leads to delays
<Saddy> we need progress now!

[Crashtour99]

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squishy_ichigo many thanks for finding out it was the pre plm
Zhs2         pre-PLM?
squishy_ichigo I don't name these things bro
Zhs2         how does that work though?
Zhs2         code that sets one up?
squishy_ichigo its code that runs before the main plm code runs
squishy_ichigo once every frame
Zhs2         like the simple "change animation frames"?
crashtour99 it's a pre-plm for plms so you can initialize before you initialize

[zephyrtronium]

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[20:41:12] -->| MathOnNapkins (~chatzilla@adsl-99-37-245-40.dsl.sbndin.sbcglobal.net) has joined #metconst
[20:41:52] <MathOnNapkins> sup bitch
[20:41:58] <Webber1900> Math!
[20:41:59] <zephyrtronium> hi math
[20:42:05] <hayashi> NaffOnMapkins!
[20:42:09] <MathOnNapkins> anybody that responded to that is a bitch now!
[20:42:19] <MathOnNapkins> congrajmulations
[20:42:21] <Webber1900> yes sir!
[20:42:40] <MathOnNapkins> Anyways, I think I finished the SM decompression
[20:42:48] <MathOnNapkins> Though it appears that interdepth is not aroud, the punk
[20:43:52] <MathOnNapkins> Managed to combine most of the compresch LZ blocks into one class with the magic of templates
[20:44:00] <MathOnNapkins> Those squirrely bastards
[20:44:18] <Drewseph> hey Mon
[20:44:34] <Drewseph> so, plan on doing any research on save stations?
[20:44:36] <MathOnNapkins> Drew you don't get to be a bitch b/c you answered too late
[20:44:44] <Drewseph> huh
[20:44:49] <Drewseph> late for what?
[20:44:52] <MathOnNapkins> Don't try to twist my arm
[20:44:59] <Drewseph> huh
[20:45:01] <Drewseph> o_O
[20:45:01] <Drewseph> ?
[20:45:04] <Drewseph> I'm confused
[20:45:05] <MathOnNapkins> That ship has sailed, and then it sank
[20:45:10] <Drewseph> lol
[20:45:14] <Drewseph> wtf are you talking about
[20:45:21] <MathOnNapkins> You, and your lack of bitchness
[20:45:28] <Drewseph> I have a wife

[Scyzer]

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[12:31] <KP9000> although I do pop boners for some jailbait at work sometimes and I have to very carefully proceed to the back room to sit down and relax
[12:32] <Jathys> KP: where do you work?
[12:32] <ProjectXVIII> The best part about being is kid is tapping jailbait ass legally.
12:32] <Scyzer> child care


[Crashtour99]

Late night ASM humor...

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[02:47] Botzer Grime, you should be a stack
[02:47] Botzer PHOp
[02:47] =-= Mode #metconst +o Begrimed by Botzer
[02:47] crashtour99 pushes Botzer onto stack
[02:48] Botzer RTL
[02:48] |<-- Botzer has left irc.esper.net (Quit: Returned To Subroutine)
[02:48] Qactis JSR SexWithUrMom
[02:49] itsblah what a mess, calling routines that just screw up the stack
[02:49] itsblah why in my current day you get a good compiler, a good compiler you hear, that spits out so much nonsense that it makes sure the stack isn't gonna get screwed up like that
[02:50] Qactis LDA Sperm : LDX #$0002 : LDY #$8000 : JSR SexWithUrMom
[02:50] Qactis better?
[02:50] crashtour99 what are the LDX and LDY for?
[02:50] Qactis we'll pretend the stack is le coffee table
[02:51] itsblah I remember back when I had a coffee table
[02:51] itsblah it was quite literally a stack for magazines, most of which never came back off
[02:51] itsblah until one day someone crashed (into) the coffee table and everything fell off, forcing a restart
[02:52] Qactis Unless you PLP before you JSR SexWithUrMom
[02:52] Qactis oh you BRK CoffeeTable?
[02:52] Qactis OHOHO
[02:53] crashtour99 would that set or clear carry afterwords...
[02:54] Qactis clear
[02:54] Qactis set carry requires an extra STZ
[02:54] Qactis then you have to STZ CoffeeTable
[02:55] crashtour99 I guess it depends on if you want to clean it up afterwords... so it'd be LDA $mess CMP #$cleanup BEQ setcarry
[02:55] Qactis and I'd rather just STA UrMom and not have to STA CoffeeTable > unnessesary STZ
[02:56] Qactis >label called setcarry
[02:57] crashtour99 eh, it's whatever lol
[02:57] Qactis setcarry: LDA #$9001
[02:57] crashtour99 ya know, this should totally go in the quips/quotes thread as ASM humor
[02:57] Qactis STA CoffeeTable
[02:58] Qactis sadi would be crying
[02:58] Qactis literally
[02:58] crashtour99 probably lol
[02:59] Qactis <Scyzer> THIS IS MADNESS
[02:59] Qactis <Qactis> This... is... METCONST!!!