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The funny quips and quotes thread

Started by -DC-, July 14, 2009, 01:12:30 AM

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Silver Skree

<Silver_Skree> OPTIMUS PRIME IS JESUS
<Hiroshi> NOW LIGHT OUR DARKEST HOUR!
* Silver_Skree opens the Oxi-Clean Matrix
* Unicron gets a fatal aneurism
<Silver_Skree> ELIMINATES EVEN THE TOUGHEST STAINS!!!
<Hiroshi> GET YOURS TODAY! OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY!!
<Hiroshi> (So powerful it cleans up Cybertron too!)

Silver Skree

#126
[13:06:30] <Parabox> I don't know why my life support is measured in Nigger.
[...]
[13:07:17] <Neko> your life support is measured in black people?
[...]
[13:07:24] <Neko> Do you drink a lot of koolaid?

-DC-

Yeah, this was a good one:

[spoiler]
<squishy_ichigo> I'm thinking Taco Bell....
<Antares> eww
<Antares> hate that place
<squishy_ichigo> whys that?
<Antares> or rather the quality of tacos
<Neko> squishy_ichigo
<squishy_ichigo> yo
<Neko> Will you take me to taco bell too?!
<Antares> I can make much better tacos
<squishy_ichigo> if you can get to my house in about 5 mins
<squishy_ichigo> sure
<Neko> K
* Neko power walks to squishy;s
<squishy_ichigo> don't forget to bring the pancake mix
<Neko> Pancakes and tacos?
<Neko> I like the way you think
<ProjectXVIII> <squishy_ichigo> don't forget to bring the pancake dix
<squishy_ichigo> urdoingitrong
<squishy_ichigo> I blame Zeke >:O
<Zhs2> :>
<Zhs2> Pancake dix <3
<squishy_ichigo> too slow Neko
<squishy_ichigo> I'm already dressed to go
<squishy_ichigo> OH WELL
<Neko> :(
<Zhs2> wait wait wait
<Neko> My legs arent that long!
<Zhs2> 1. squishy lives in Texas
<Zhs2> 2. squishy is gay
<Neko> So?
<squishy_ichigo> . . .
<Zhs2> dunno
<Neko> I can get tacos with a gay guy.
<squishy_ichigo> since when?
<ProjectXVIII> Since yesterday.
<squishy_ichigo> @ Zeke
<Neko> I smoked pot with a lesbian cop.
<Zhs2> lol
<Zhs2> squishy is put off by his roommate getting it on with a chick
<Neko> LOL
<squishy_ichigo> put off?
<Neko> Gay.
<squishy_ichigo> I just don't want to hear it, thats all <_<;
<squishy_ichigo> they need to be quieter
<Zhs2> riiiiiiiight
<ProjectXVIII> Nobody is gonna blame you if you do a little "chloroforming" on her and uh...yeh... >_>
* InfinitysEnd is drinking some Dos Equis Amber
<ProjectXVIII> IF YA KETCH MA DRIFTZ
<squishy_ichigo> does it involve pancake mix?
<ProjectXVIII> Yes.
<squishy_ichigo> FUCK YEAH
<ProjectXVIII> ...If your into that kinda thing... >_>
<ProjectXVIII> Just make sure you use a funnel...
<ProjectXVIII> Don't wanna get it on the bed.
<Zhs2> hahahahahahahaha
* @squishy_ichigo choloforms his roomies girlfriend, makes some pancakes, eats them, then goes back to what he was doing, ignoring the girl
<squishy_ichigo> AMIRITE?
<ProjectXVIII> You fucking idiot!
<squishy_ichigo> not right?
<squishy_ichigo> wutidorong?
<ProjectXVIII> WHAT WILL YOUR ROOMMATE SAY WHEN HE SEES HIS CHICK KNOCKED OUT WITH A WIERD SMELLING RAG NEXT TO HER?
<squishy_ichigo> cool?
<ProjectXVIII> inb4JACKPOT
<ProjectXVIII> Yeh...your right...
<ProjectXVIII> The fuck was I thinking? >_>
<squishy_ichigo> I did him a favor
<squishy_ichigo> :D
<squishy_ichigo> I MADE PANCAKES!
<ProjectXVIII> Now he can sleep with you! >:D
* squishy_ichigo sets mode: +b *!*XVIII@*.ph.ph.cox.net
* ProjectXVIII was kicked by squishy_ichigo (ProjectXVIII)
* squishy_ichigo sets mode: -b *!*XVIII@*.ph.ph.cox.net
<Zhs2> I waht
<Zhs2> oh
<Zhs2> carry on
* ProjectXVIII (Proj(at)ip70-176-208-117.ph.ph.cox.net) has joined #metconst
<ProjectXVIII> >_>
<squishy_ichigo> welcome back
* Zhs2 changes topic to '03:37 <ProjectXVIII> Now he can sleep with you! >:D'
[/spoiler]

squishy_ichigo

<Neko> statik: YOU AINT GOT THE PANCAKE MIX
<statik> huh?
<Neko> Thats your new catch phrase.
<Neko> Just scream it at religious characters.
<statik> you, good sir, are a genius

(in case you were wondering about what I was talking about in DC's post ;D)

not having pancake mix ftw!

interdpth

* KT_JDDD (Mibbit@cpe-75-85-65-213.socal.res.rr.com) has joined #metconst
<KT_JDDD> I went to see Predators yesterday.
<Wine> I saw your dad on Predators
<KT_JDDD> I know, he was the badass predator.
<Wine> No, he went to Jail
<Wine> You faggot
<KT_JDDD> takes a fag to know a fag.
<KT_JDDD> fucking dumbass bitch.
<KT_JDDD> just take your shit and take it to a different website.
* KT_JDDD (Mibbit@cpe-75-85-65-213.socal.res.rr.com) Quit (Quit: Client Exited)

Malpercio

lol, that has got to be the fastest troll win in the history of forever to generate a ragequit in three lines.

Phazar

<Phazar> !unload urmom
<OMGbot> Plugin is not loaded!

squishy_ichigo

<squishy_ichigo> alrighty...
<squishy_ichigo> I think I'm done with this map :D
<Shadox> Attention.
<Shadox> If you have just finished mapping, you may have a rare disease.
<squishy_ichigo> brings me up to four maps >:D
<squishy_ichigo> yeah, I do, its called awesome
<squishy_ichigo> few people have it
<squishy_ichigo> Grime has it too

Phazar

#133
<Shadox> PATCH�
<Shadox> �©���©��Ë�êê�.��.§��.¶� �.á��.ë��.ú� �/d��/n��/}��/æ��/ð�� à �0*��1(â,¬Â«(k²GæGÐ '²…JÉÿðîÉà 
<Shadox> Not Copied from Phazar's sig.
<Phazar> PATCH?? ?DG#+R*R)R(A?x??x??À()*+G#;R:R9R8A?x??x??À89:;G#?????|?,G#?D????|?lG#???????#?G#???????#?G#?????`?$G
* Lunaria (TheWorldMa@h87-241-104-46.dynamic.se.alltele.net) has joined #metconst
<+HelloBot> Hello, Lunaria! ^.^
<Shadox> �©���©��Ë�êê�.��.§��.¶� �.á��.ë��.ú� �/d��/n��/}��/æ��/ð�� à �0*��1(â,¬Â«(k²GæGÐ '²…JÉÿðîÉà 
<Phazar> ?? ?DG#+R*R)R(A?x??x??À()*+G#;R:R9R8A?x??x??À89:;G#?????|?,G#?D????|?lG#???????#?G#???????#?G#?????`?$G
<Shadox> �©���©��Ë�êê�.��.§��.¶� �.á��.ë��.ú� �/d��/n��/}��/æ��/ð�� à �0*��1(â,¬Â«(k²GæGÐ '²…JÉÿðîÉà 
<Phazar> I call unicode war!
<Phazar> ?? ?DG#+R*R)R(A?x??x??À()*+G#;R:R9R8A?x??x??À89:;G#?????|?,G#?D????|?lG#???????#?G#???????#?G#?????`?$G
<Shadox> �©���©��Ë�êê�.��.§��.¶� �.á��.ë��.ú� �/d��/n��/}��/æ��/ð�� à �0*��1(â,¬Â«(k²GæGÐ '²…JÉÿðîÉà 
* Shadox was kicked by squishy_ichigo (Shadox)
* Shadox (Shadox@97-91-222-150.dhcp.stls.mo.charter.com) has joined #metconst
<+HelloBot> Hello, Shadox! ^.^
* You were kicked by squishy_ichigo (Phazar)
* Attempting to rejoin channel #metconst
* Rejoined channel #metconst
* Topic is '#MetConst: well, drewseph is a TASer - i understand his physics | Attachment Exodus - AKA stop being lazy faggots and upload your images to a proper place. | [url=https://www.dropbox.com/referrals/NTg3NzkwNzI5]https://www.dropbox.com/referrals/NTg3NzkwNzI5[/url] Get an extra 250meg space when you sign up using this'
* Set by Grime!flugh@h219.4.18.98.dynamic.ip.windstream.net on Mon Jul 19 12:40:56
<+HelloBot> Hello, Phazar! ^.^
<@squishy_ichigo> spam
<Shadox> ...meanie.

Digital_Mantra

I actually took the time to read pretty much everything in this thread and my conclusion is that this is a very lame thread.
And some of you quote very boring, unfunny 'quips and quotes'.
Trust me, it may have been funny on IRC when it was said, but that magic was lost around 30 seconds after.

PZ-powa

Quote from: Digital_Mantra on July 27, 2010, 07:27:31 AM
I actually took the time to read pretty much everything in this thread and my conclusion is that this is a very lame thread.
And some of you quote very boring, unfunny 'quips and quotes'.
Trust me, it may have been funny on IRC when it was said, but that magic was lost around 30 seconds after.

IRC threads are funny when I am inside of them. Trust me. :B

Parabox

@DMan this thread is a bit useful if you weren't around on IRC when said quip or said quote was made, allowing you to read it here.

Antidote

I joined the IRC chan today and this is what immediately greeted me

[12:11] <PY> you modded your console and game
[12:11] <PY> and are SURPRISED when they suspend you>
[12:11] <blarget2> yes, you can get banned for offlinemodding
[12:11] <UTK> Actually my console and games are not modded.
[12:11] <PY> jesus christ you get stupider by the day
[12:11] <UTK> And it mods only saves
[12:11] <UTK> >_>
[12:11] <squishy_ichigo> and not just suprised, but angry
[12:11] <UTK> I know alot about 360 modding >_>
[12:11] <PY> evidently not
[12:11] <Antidote> 360's suck
[12:12] <PY> because you don't realise that any sort of modding it breaks god knows how many agreements
[12:12] <blarget2> yes, i mod custom games too, but i dont go anouncing it in my bio.
[12:12] <PY> and they could ban you from live for it perfectly legally.
[12:12] <blarget2> yep
[12:12] <PY> your suspension is your warning
[12:12] <UTK> Well still they have to give a damn warning before they do that, its in their terms and aggreements.
[12:12] <blarget2> thats why i stay secret ;<D
[12:12] <PY> that is their warning
[12:12] <UTK> And they expect me to change it when im suspended
[12:13] <PY> change it later
[12:13] <PY> it's all your own fault
[12:13] <Antidote> suspensions are temporary
[12:13] <Antidote> :P
[12:13] <PY> there's nobody to blame but yourself
[12:13] <Antidote> at least you are outright banned
[12:13] <PY> especially not MS
[12:13] <Antidote> aren't*
[12:13] <Antidote> <.<
[12:13] <blarget2> suspension = warning pera ban = result.
[12:13] <UTK> They are lucky I ain't calling because that suspension would be gone in a flash =_=
[12:13] <squishy_ichigo> riiiight
[12:13] <blarget2> actually
[12:14] <blarget2> there is a websxsit about this
[12:14] <blarget2> website
[12:14] <PY> no, it wouldn't
[12:14] <Antidote> my only gripe about the Boost library is
[12:14] <blarget2> its called [url=http://www.stupidcustomers.com]www.stupidcustomers.com[/url]
[12:14] <Antidote> it's so FRACKING HUGE!!!
[12:14] <PY> UTK, everything here is your fault, MS are completely in the right.
[12:14] <Antidote> not as bad as wxWidgets however
[12:14] * Antidote pokes around with Qt
[12:15] <UTK> noooo because they just happened to check my account for "Supicious activity" when i haven't been logged on for the past week =_=
[12:15] <UTK> And that message was sent yesterday.
[12:15] <UTK> So yeah microsoft can kiss my ass.
[12:15] <Antidote> I got an email from M$ about the suspicion of a mod chip
[12:15] <Antidote> funny thing is
[12:15] <squishy_ichigo> utk, please stop whining
[12:15] <squishy_ichigo> thanks
[12:15] <Antidote> i don't even own an XFail 360
[12:15] <UTK> xD
[12:16] <UTK> Thats fail right there lol
[12:16] |<-- SirAileron has left irc.esper.net (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
[12:16] <UTK> Anyway im going to world of warcraft to make people rage quit in PvP
[12:16] =-= UTK is now known as UTK|WoW
[12:16] -->| SirAileron (Ails@pool-173-62-230-124.phlapa.east.verizon.net) has joined #metconst
[12:16] <HelloBot> Hello, SirAileron! ^.^
[12:16] <Antidote> I sent it right to their PR with that exact line
[12:16] <blarget2> UTK, there is nothing you can do about it anyways. go ahead and call microsoft ;)
[12:16] <PY> ok, yeah. utk is an idiot.
[12:16] <PY> /ignore
[12:17] <Antidote> i got an email back stating that they may press charges for harassment
[12:17] <Antidote> xD
[12:17] <Antidote> that was about a year ago
[12:17] <PY> lmao
[12:17] <Antidote> i lol'd greatly
[12:18] <Antidote> SirAileron: [12:15] <Antidote> I got an email from M$ about the suspicion of a mod chip
[12:18] <Antidote> [12:15] <Antidote> funny thing is
[12:18] <Antidote> [12:15] <squishy_ichigo> utk, please stop whining
[12:18] <Antidote> [12:15] <squishy_ichigo> thanks
[12:18] <Antidote> [12:15] <Antidote> i don't even own an XFail 360
[12:18] <Antidote> xD
[12:18] <UTK|WoW> I wanna see that email you got O.o
[12:18] <Antidote> It's long gone dude
[12:19] <Antidote> long gone
[12:19] * PY wants to make a #metconst quotes so he can quote that
[12:19] <squishy_ichigo> I thought you wanted to make people ragequit
[12:19] <squishy_ichigo> which one is it UTK?
[12:19] <PY> Ithink that's called trolling
[12:19] <Antidote> UTK|WoW: that email was over a YEAR ago
[12:19] <Antidote> i doubt even Google has it anymore

Hiroshi Mishima

#138
A little off topic, but I'd love to mod my cousin's Xbox and finally enjoy a couple of those games he owns. Gods I fraking hate Microsoft and their whole "wah wah wah people shouldn't like Action Replays and Code Breakers and such wah wah wah" tirade. Hurrah for Offline Cheating! :D

Anyways, switching away from the whole IRC quotes... I was watching the bonus features on Ultraman and they included an interview with some of the people responsible for the writing/dubbing (as in the one guy wrote most of the dialogue but also did a lot of the voice acting) and I started really enjoying it, especially when he said this little nugget of truth which I hold close to my heart because of how fraking accurate it is with the way I see things today:

Peter Fernandez: "When you reach a certain age, you start thinking back... When you're younger you've got nothing to think back to.. *everyone chuckles* ..and I think that has a lot to do with reviving the things that you knew and perhaps loved as a kid. And of course now you've got kids, and they're watching it, and they're saying 'That's pretty good'. And compared to the shows that are on now, I think some of those shows like Ultraman, like Speed Racer and the Godzilla films are far better than what's being shown today. They were made with a higher standard."

Oh, and here's something that particularly made me lol.

Peter Fernandez: "When audiences ... subtitled films and one for dubbed films.. it's always amused me that people who only go to subtitled films, they don't wanna see anything dubbed, they always think they're hearing the original voices. They're not. For many years, Italy never shot with a microphone in the studio. Every single film was recorded later. Uuh, Filini didn't even write the dialogue until after he'd finished filming the film, because I worked with a man who collaborated with him. I feel that the people who only wanna see a subtitled film are missing half the film, because you can only put so much thought into a subtitle where as the actor on screen may be rattling off on some long thing, and a conscientious dubber will try to get every thought that was in the original film into the dubbed part."

Gods I love listening to this interview, now they're talking about how a lot of shows are being made only once a product is available for merchandising, especially in regards to little kids. Now granted the original Transformers cartoon was made in regard to the toy line, but they didn't have a huge chain to Hasbro except when they might say "Oh, well we haven't seen such and such in a while, put him in an episode" cause mostly they made the cartoons as they saw fit. Not so much today...

Phazar

Just found this discussion that happened on IRC some time ago during the summer.

[22:12] <Phaz|AFK> also, Project
[22:12] * Phaz|AFK is now known as Phazar
[22:12] <Phazar> YOU JUST LOST THE GAME
[22:12] <N-Spade> FRAK YOU
[22:13] <ProjectXVIII> Nope, 'cause I ain't playin'! :D
[22:13] <Phazar> That's what I always said
[22:13] <Phazar> everyone's playing
[22:13] <ProjectXVIII> Except me.
[22:13] <Wine> WHAT GAME IS THIS
[22:13] <N-Spade> WINE, SHUT UP YOU MADE ME LOSE AGAIN
[22:13] <ProjectXVIII> Because, when you realise that the game does not actually exist, you can cease to play it.
[22:15] <Wine> WAHT FRAKING GAME
[22:15] <Wine> SUPER METROID?
[22:15] <ProjectXVIII> THE GAME.
[22:16] <Wine> Super Metroid is a game. >_>
[22:16] <@squishy_ichigo> but its not THE game
[22:16] <ProjectXVIII> THE GAME.
[22:16] <Phazar> It's not THE GAME
[22:16] <ProjectXVIII> THE GAME.
[22:16] <Wine> Wasn't it THE GAME of the year?
[22:16] <N-Spade> ^ Yoooou sonnovabeeeetch
[22:16] <ProjectXVIII> THE GAME.
[22:17] <Wine> YES
[22:17] <ProjectXVIII> :D
[22:17] <Wine> THE GAME IS SUPER METROID
[22:17] <Wine> GOD DAMMIT
[22:17] <Phazar> THE GAME
[22:17] <Phazar> is
[22:17] <Phazar> THE GAME
[22:17] <ProjectXVIII> is
[22:17] <Wine> Is there a rom?
[22:17] <@squishy_ichigo> next person is kickbant

Parabox

<SadiztykFish> someone fuck me
* Parabox fucks Sadi.
<SadiztykFish>  it works

Not taken out of context, I swear.

zephyrtronium

⌐21:28:24¬ <ProjectXVIII> Waker: What is your secreeeeeeeeeeeeeeet?
⌐21:28:36¬ <Waker> Balls.
⌐21:28:39¬ <Waker> Huge, plentiful balls.
⌐21:28:44¬ <ProjectXVIII> I have those, they don't work.
I feel it is my duty to report this development.

Hiroshi Mishima

Maybe he's a Diabetic or has Erectile Dysfunction. I hear they have pills for that, but insofar as I'm aware, it doesn't work for everyone.

Phazar

<@zephyrtronium> well its ten and i have school tomorrow
<@zephyrtronium> MOTH
<@zephyrtronium> ER
<@zephyrtronium> FRAK
<@Zhs2> how
<@Zhs2> did you end up typing 'moth' instead of 'frak'
<@Zhs2> I will not even
<Phazar> <@zephyrtronium> MOTH
<Phazar> <@zephyrtronium> ER
<Phazar> <@zephyrtronium> FRAK
<Phazar> ER
<@zephyrtronium> ...
<Phazar> then, it would work
<@zephyrtronium> MOTHER
<@zephyrtronium> FRAK
<@zephyrtronium> is what i meant to say
<Phazar> that's what I thought
<Phazar> guess Zhs2 just misinterpreted
<@zephyrtronium> WHAT THE MOTHERUFKC INAIFAGNOVAumg a3;oeal84 wI]

personitis


[15:24] <Dan701> OMGBot is banned?!?!?
[15:24] * Dan701 is shot
[15:24] <@squishy_ichigo> OMGbot is not banned
[15:24] <@squishy_ichigo> it even says so in the topic
[15:24] <Dan701> troll'd
[15:24] <@Grime> OMGbot got banned for like 2 minutes, so PY decided he didn't want to come here anymore.
[15:24] <Dan701> lolwut
[15:24] <@James> He got fed up of the dickery here
[15:24] <Waker> ...
[15:24] <Dan701> that sounds about stupid
[15:25] <Waker> PY ragequit?
[15:25] <@interdpth> He'll be back
[15:25] <@squishy_ichigo> yes, there is quite a bit of dickery here
[15:25] <Waker> Maaaaaan, now I've seen everything.
[15:25] <@squishy_ichigo> but you either learn to live with it or leave
[15:25] <@James> Waker, no he god banned technically so left
[15:25] <Dan701> he god banned...
[15:25] <Parabox> GOD BANNED HIM.
[15:25] <Waker> That's like.
[15:25] <Dan701> god banned
[15:25] <Kasel> lmao
[15:25] <Waker> The disgrace.

Nice James... nice.

zephyrtronium

«21:21:05» <Shadox> I have a small nick ;-;
«21:21:13» <zephyrtronium> ...oh my god
«21:21:17» <zephyrtronium> where is omgbot when you need him
«21:21:26» <Shadox> xD
«21:21:38» <Shadox> I know what you were gonna do
«21:21:49» <Shadox> <Shadox> I have a small dick ;-;
«21:21:58» <zephyrtronium> thank you

Zhs2

05:40 -!- Masked_Felix [Masked_Fel@97-94-213-55.dhcp.ftwo.tx.charter.com] has joined #metconst
05:40 <HelloBot> Hello, Masked_Felix! ^.^
05:40 <DMantra> i have this urge to take a naked photo of myself lying down, covering my genetils with the Super Metroid SNES box.
05:40 -!- Masked_Felix [Masked_Fel@97-94-213-55.dhcp.ftwo.tx.charter.com] has quit [Quit: Client Exited]

Phazar

Talk about a ragequit that for once didn't result from trolling.

Parabox

    <squishy_ichigo>    trolling troll is trolling
    -->|    interdpth (anon@184.46.54.85) has joined #metconst
    <HelloBot>    Hello, interdpth! ^.^

Silver Skree

[09:53:27] <darthbobby> hahaha
[09:53:53] <darthbobby> Really though, I prefer iTunes
[09:53:58] <Silver_Skree> ...
[09:54:01] * Silver_Skree shoots darthbobby
[09:54:02] <PY> ...
[09:54:06] * PY shotgun
[09:54:06] <darthbobby> brb updating IE6
[09:54:16] * PY rocket launcher
[09:54:24] * Silver_Skree starts slicing the corpse into little bits
[09:54:36] <Silver_Skree> Someone get me some fish and a toilet
[09:54:47] <Silver_Skree> blender, too
[09:55:01] <darthbobby> What? It works well with Windows Vista!
[09:55:01] <Silver_Skree> I'll put the fish in the toilet and make it eat the corpse bits
[09:55:13] <Silver_Skree> then beat the fish with a bat
[09:55:15] * PY two rocket launchers
[09:55:18] <Silver_Skree> then chop IT up
[09:55:22] <Silver_Skree> then blend it
[09:55:31] <Silver_Skree> then pour that back in the toilet
[09:55:34] <Silver_Skree> shit in it
[09:55:38] <Silver_Skree> flush
[09:55:39] <darthbobby> But since I'm dual booting with Windows ME, I have to use WMP as well :/
[09:55:43] <Silver_Skree> drop some c4 down it
[09:55:51] <Silver_Skree> and destroy the toilet
[09:55:56] <Silver_Skree> then mop the floor
[09:56:01] * PY a tank
[09:57:27] <darthbobby> Awh, wtf
[09:57:27] <darthbobby> My geocities page is all 404'd :(
[09:57:43] * PY two tanks, one in each hand